Hollie Anna Lynch
I write to escape. Some hope feeling I get that if I write it down it will leave me like many of the people I have met in this lifetime. But that’s not entirely true is it? If I still have a memory of them, then they haven’t truly left me. Nothing seems to escape, not even walk away. With each breath it takes a different pain to be entitled onto the front page. Are we really here??? Why does each move I make mean something? Some people say we’re here to learn and complete tasks…..For what??? To me this is hell, a punishment that needs to be made the best of, but we’ve made our self’s believe that if we don’t do something this will happen. If I were to die in an hour this would have been for nothing, I have left behind nothing, I have done nothing to be proud of, I have changed nothing, fixed nothing, exceeded nothing, loved nothing, felt nothing. I was, am, will, have nothing. All that I do has not an effect on me after I am dead, I’m not afraid of death. I’m afraid of life. My hand is cramping, it’s “GODS” way of trying to stop me from asking the obvious. As if I am getting closer to the truth, something that someone doesn’t want me to spread. Talking about it makes a lump in my throat. “To die would be a great adventure” I have heard this before, It makes me smile. “In order to die, you have to live” This one makes the clocks and wires tick in me, and then I think….I will not die in an hour for in order to do so I would have had to live….. And I haven’t lived yet. I do not feel alive. I don’t feel what some may feel. Passion I may have once tasted has left me; love has yet to come my way…. “I have nothing to live for” and once that sentence has crossed every inch of your mind, it’s when you need to worry….for the sentence is reality and the reality is nothing. Why live? No, you see… If you read that and thought about someone committing suicide then you cannot see passed what you have placed in front of you.
“Life” What is the definition?